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As much as I’m disturbed the same way Lily Collins was, I am not surprised at all by the comments she received. After losing a noticeable amount of weight for a role she plays in a new movie — To The Bone — she faced encounters that solidify society has a long way to go when it comes to beauty standards. The movie is about anorexia, and, Lily Collins, happens to be a survivor of an eating disorder — as am I. The day I reported to preseason for my sophomore year of college soccer, I remember a comment made to me by an upperclassman thatRead More →

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The year of my wedding was by far one of the most memorable and exciting times of my life. Leading up to it I felt pure joy and celebration around me. From the bridal showers, to the bachelorette party, to the wedding band shopping, to the extensive planning, to choosing the venue, to writing up a guest list, to securing a rabbi, and, finally, without doubt, the moment every girl dreams of her entire life–dress shopping. It goes without saying that when you hear “bride-to-be” and “upcoming wedding,” you also hear “diet” and “lose weight.” At the time of my wedding, I was the happiestRead More →

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“Let’s go on a diet,” my best friend suggested after we gained an unhealthy amount of weight in college. Something had changed. Buttoning my pants started becoming an exercise in itself, and I noticed this sound, “swish swish,” that was following me everywhere. It ended up being chub rub, otherwise known as my inner thighs rubbing together every time I took a step. Quickly, I declared, too, that I needed to go on a NONE-OF-MY-PANTS-FIT diet. To this day, when I hear the word “diet,” I immediately think of a structured attempt to lose weight. Though the reasons for dieting vary, the desired outcome is the same.Read More →

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Today I was at the gym doing my regular morning routine before two friends of mine showed up next to me to do a treadmill workout together. They pulled out their phones, clicked on an app, and went back and forth deciding which particular program they were going to choose. Out of curiosity, I asked what app they were using, and, at the same time, they offered the name. Intrigued, again, I basically invited myself to join them. After an intense and exhausting run, we were cooling down, chatting, and one thing led to another–the conversation shifted to the topic of: WEIGHT AND BODY. TheRead More →

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Thinner. Faster. Better. The three words that kept repeating in my mind the summer before my sophomore soccer season at Michigan State. I was a midfielder; an outside midfielder to be exact. In simpler terms, I was responsible for covering a lot of ground, and doing an excess amount of running from end line to end line. It only made sense to me that if I was able to lose weight, it would be easier to gain stamina, and, therefore, be a better player. It was essential that I felt light on my feet, quick, and agile in order to achieve success at that level.Read More →

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“I still haven’t lost my baby weight.” The famous words I’ve grown to hear so many women say. And I’m not talking about just women who delivered months prior, or even just a couple years. I’m talking about women who have grown children.  Even as a young girl, I believed that some women’s bodies are just not made to bounce back to form after having babies, and some are blessed to appear as if their stomachs never stretched out to Timbuktu, or some even smaller than pre-pregnancy. And, I always hoped and prayed that when it was my time, I wouldn’t be one walking aroundRead More →

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I remember the day when I was categorized as obese so I totally get what’s going through Amy Schumer’s mind after being included in a Plus-Size issue of Glamour Magazine. I remember that day as if were yesterday. I went to the doctor for a physical, as a child, with my mom, and I did the usual. I stepped on the scale to be weighed, and then backed up against the wall to have my height measured. I was 5-feet-and-one-inch tall, which is still my current height today. I weighed 126 pounds, which is the weight I have attempted to maintain for the last several years.Read More →

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As I approach the 12th anniversary of my Rock Bottom Car Accident AND a historic snow storm expected to bring “crippling conditions” to Baltimore, I reflect back on my journey of developing anorexia nervosa, and living with it. I try to recall the vivid thoughts that floated through my mind at the most critical points of my disorder. People often ask what helped most in my recovery process. I don’t believe there is a clear, definitive answer to this question, but I can tell you that multiple aspects contributed to the change of my attitude, thoughts, and motives. The first, and probably most significant, aspect that drove me in the direction of recoveryRead More →