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If only I were skinny… I’d be so much happier. This is not the case at all. Actually, when I was my skinniest, I was the most unhappy I had ever been. I was clinically depressed, and was completely miserable. All I was able to think about was food and my body, and not gaining weight. I was trapped inside. I’d have so many more friends. See, it seems as though skinny people tend to be more popular. I worked so hard at attaining thinness that my personality completely dwindled to nothing, I had no energy, and I was withdrawn from everyone and everything. Clearly,Read More →

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It was a gorgeous, early September day. After giving up my morning run to take the kids to the state fair, I felt motivated to get some exercise later in the day. Feeling guilty about leaving my husband home with three kids, I begged one of my boys to come with me. After multiple rejections, I whispered in my oldest son’s ear that I’d take him for an ice cream cone. That’s all it took. He hopped in the stroller, and off we ran to our brand new neighborhood Italian ice and frozen custard shop. The kids in our area have watched this shop come toRead More →

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I stood in front of a three way mirror. Staring at myself in what I believed was the least flattering color on me ever, I couldn’t even pull the sample dress up over my body. Tears came pouring down, and I quickly had an array of emotions and thoughts going through my head.  I had just spent an entire year battling anorexia. This dress fitting happened to have taken place as the pendulum swung the other way–I was overweight. The skinny ass girl who was helping me pulled out her measuring tape, and started wrapping it around different parts of my body. As if thatRead More →

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As much as I’m disturbed the same way Lily Collins was, I am not surprised at all by the comments she received. After losing a noticeable amount of weight for a role she plays in a new movie — To The Bone — she faced encounters that solidify society has a long way to go when it comes to beauty standards. The movie is about anorexia, and, Lily Collins, happens to be a survivor of an eating disorder — as am I. The day I reported to preseason for my sophomore year of college soccer, I remember a comment made to me by an upperclassman thatRead More →

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The year of my wedding was by far one of the most memorable and exciting times of my life. Leading up to it I felt pure joy and celebration around me. From the bridal showers, to the bachelorette party, to the wedding band shopping, to the extensive planning, to choosing the venue, to writing up a guest list, to securing a rabbi, and, finally, without doubt, the moment every girl dreams of her entire life–dress shopping. It goes without saying that when you hear “bride-to-be” and “upcoming wedding,” you also hear “diet” and “lose weight.” At the time of my wedding, I was the happiestRead More →

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I can feel my body spreading. Literally, as I sit on the couch, I can see and notice that my legs are getting bigger by the second, and my stomach is expanding. All I can imagine is the number on the scale increasing and increasing each minute I am handcuffed and instructed not to do any physical activity. This includes: No exercise — meaning my body will not be releasing any endorphins contributing to my energy level and positive outlook on life. No lifting — that means not even my twelve-pound baby; therefore, I am being forced to have and hire help during this restrictive time. No bending up andRead More →

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As the New Year is quickly approaching, and people are sharing their New Year’s resolutions via social media, among friends, and other various networks, losing weight is one of the more popular goals that people set to achieve. Admittedly, I was one. “It’s winter time, and I feel heavier than normal.” “There is always weight to lose.” “I can always be thinner.” These are all thoughts that run through my head; all of which I have to ignore or fight against. It doesn’t help that every time I turn on the television or open a magazine while in line at the grocery store, all I seeRead More →

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Thinner. Faster. Better. The three words that kept repeating in my mind the summer before my sophomore soccer season at Michigan State. I was a midfielder; an outside midfielder to be exact. In simpler terms, I was responsible for covering a lot of ground, and doing an excess amount of running from end line to end line. It only made sense to me that if I was able to lose weight, it would be easier to gain stamina, and, therefore, be a better player. It was essential that I felt light on my feet, quick, and agile in order to achieve success at that level.Read More →

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Five years ago, we moved in our wonderful neighborhood comprised of young families, and many little kids. Halloween was quickly approaching, and a friend of mine who lives down the street asked, “Are you handing out candy with peanuts?” I laughed. Literally, I laughed. Halloween without peanuts? What is Halloween without Reese’s peanut butter cups or Snickers bars? I wasn’t even quite sure of why she was asking me until she proceeded to tell me there was a little girl in the neighborhood with a peanut allergy. Admittedly, I thought to myself: I am not going to hangout my favorite candy bar to hundreds ofRead More →

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I happened to have been in Starbucks this past week. The last week of summer, and the final few days for kids to enjoy their time out of the classroom. I walked in, drenched in sweat, having just finished my run. I desperately needed some ice cold water, and it’s the nearest place for me to stop, rest, and cool down before walking back home. While I stood there watching the baristas grab cups, label them, and then mix drinks, I noticed there were four young girls placing their order. They had to have been middle school-aged, twelve or thirteen years old, and without their parents.Read More →