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I took the short cut. The short cut that so many athletes take. The short cut that Allie Kieffer was referring to in her latest interview with Sports Illustrated. Not only did I see skinny as being fast from my own eyes and experiences, but this belief was conveyed loud and clear from the powerful voices of coaches, leaders, and  those surrounding me within my sport. I was a competitive and driven athlete who wanted to be the best I could be in soccer.  At 5’1”, I was without question the shortest player on the college soccer field. I didn’t look like the typical tall andRead More →

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Some believe they have Gaydar, and are able to sense if a person is gay or straight. Some believe they have Jewdar, and can detect if one is Jewish. Me? I have Anodar, and I have the ability to recognize when someone is struggling with an eating disorder. After I ordered my dinner last night at a fast-food style restaurant, I made my way to the cashier to pay. The girl who took my credit card made eye contact, and our eyes locked for a split second. In that second, I wished I could say to her, “I see you. I know what you’re thinking,Read More →

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My 6 year old son has been asking me for the last several months to run a race together. Though the idea of signing us up sounded wonderful, I couldn’t help but have uncontrollable and intrusive thoughts creep back in head from the time of my eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I not only restricted calories to the extreme, but I worked out excessively. No matter how intense the exercise, the length of time I ran, or the amount of calories burned, it never seemed enough. But, in my mind was always a minimum that I wouldn’t allow myself to fallRead More →

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If a genie in a bottle asked me to make one wish, I would wish to have the ‘perfect’ body. The genie would then ask me to define the ‘perfect’ body. Without hesitation, I insist it’s a skinny and feminine body with just enough muscle and tone to add shape and definition. This includes a perfect proportions, lengthy legs, and must have a thigh gap.  The current media worships the skinny look. We are inundated by the ‘ideal’ body type everywhere we turn: mannequins, supermodels, actresses, TV personalities, Barbie, pageant contestants, and more. Born with a short stature and athletic build, I have had cripplingRead More →

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Growing up in Detroit, I was raised in what I considered one of the best sports towns in the country. During my childhood, it seemed as though winning championships came naturally. My love for Detroit sports started from the time I was a baby. To this day, when I tell someone from Michigan that I was born in 1984, their immediate response is, “The year the Tigers won the World Series!” Though the Tigers were a great team to root for, I quickly became an avid hockey fan. How could I not when the city was nicknamed “Hockeytown?” I was lucky enough to witness, arguably,Read More →

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Tears welled up in my eyes. My thoughts were painful and overpowering. The last time we had watched a story illustrating Eating Disorders together, my now-husband was frightened. So much that he made the boldest statement sending chills down my spine: “I would never date anyone with Anorexia. I couldn’t imagine who would do that to themselves.” Fourteen years ago, I was determined to be at my best physically. I simply wanted to be able to endure an entire college soccer game; and assure my coaches they made the right decision by offering me a full-ride athletic scholarship. The onset of my Eating Disorder was pureRead More →

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I’m on the airplane headed to Los Angeles, California on this Tuesday morning. I was offered the opportunity to present at the largest annual gathering of soccer coaches in the world. When I first was put in contact with the operations coordinator about the possibility of speaking at this NSCAA convention in January 2017, he responded back with two comments: 1) To please send an outline of the topic in which I’d like to speak on; and 2) To date, they have never had a presenter speak on eating disorders.  I paused for a minute after reading the latter of his comments. In a studyRead More →