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It breaks my heart, and makes me so sad. More than anything, I’m embarrassed and ashamed.  I was initially drawn to the sport of soccer because my brother played. From there, it was clear very early on that I had potential. Of course, I enjoyed the sport, loved to win, hated to lose, aspired to score goals, and was determined to standout. I was driven and motivated by my individual performance. My mood was dictated by how well I thought I played, and how well my dad believed I performed–even from the young age of five. His affirmation meant the world to me. When itRead More →

anorexia

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I could tell by her expression that she was in a trance. Through her glossed eyes, I felt as if she was holding on to every word I was saying. We made eye contact, and just by her sad look, she communicated she was focused and fascinated by my story. Speaking to young girls has given me quite a new perspective on this topic of eating disorders, body image, and exercise. It’s well beyond that. I have felt the connection to the innocent, yet inquisitive students when it has come to real life struggles that most do not discuss; or validate their adequate thoughts. ThisRead More →

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As I was skimming through my newsfeed, Twitter, and Instagram accounts today, I became guilty of this, too. When I see any link or article titled, “Lose Weight Fast,” I take my little finger, and on autopilot, I click on the piece. I’m not even trying to lose weight right now. But, when I see that title in bold, capitalized, large font, I can’t help but feel my curiosity peak in that moment. I wonder if that piece reveals the secret potion. As if it might have new, different, and more accelerated ideas about weight loss, diet, and exercise. In this society, we are drawnRead More →

Erin Konheim Mandras: I Couldn't Think of a Worse Time to Relapse

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I believe there is no better time to share this personal experience of mine than during Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Almost six years ago, actually to be exact–on June 4, 2011–I departed Baltimore, MD to head to Atlanta, GA. I had signed myself up to attend, what I knew would be the most grueling and challenging nine days, the United States Soccer Federation (USSF) “A” license course. I had managed to pass the previous four courses (E, D, C, and B), and felt prepared and ready to conquer the final, most prestigious coaching license in the U.S. I landed in Atlanta feeling grateful to haveRead More →

gym-skinny-body-image

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Today I was at the gym doing my regular morning routine before two friends of mine showed up next to me to do a treadmill workout together. They pulled out their phones, clicked on an app, and went back and forth deciding which particular program they were going to choose. Out of curiosity, I asked what app they were using, and, at the same time, they offered the name. Intrigued, again, I basically invited myself to join them. After an intense and exhausting run, we were cooling down, chatting, and one thing led to another–the conversation shifted to the topic of: WEIGHT AND BODY. TheRead More →

Konheim Mandras - Seeing Your Loved One Suffer

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Sad. Frustrated.  Helpless. Painful. The common answers I was given when asking my loved ones how they felt when I was struggling with an eating disorder. The scary thing… I have been on the other side. Where I’ve watched first-hand someone battle this disease. The feedback I received was consistent in the way I felt when I tried helping someone I loved.  I tried to do everything to help. I was willing to do anything. To open their eyes, and yell at them to, “Snap out of it!” I wrote letters, sent emails, called incessantly, begged them to change, pleaded for them to take stepsRead More →

Why can that bitch eat THAT and be that skinny

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I hate her for being able to eat that and still be skinny. You know that girl. We all know THAT girl. You know, the one who so thoughtlessly devours the chips and spinach artichoke dip ordered to share. Then, without hesitation, delves into her hand battered chicken finger platter for her entree. Add the French fries to that, too. Scraped clean. Wait. It gets better. The waiter returns to clear the empty plates, and asks, “Would you like to see the dessert menu?” Before I could get the answer “No, thank you” out, she shouts, “Yes, please!”  Hang on a second. I sat there, thinkingRead More →

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I, along with many others, just spent fifteen minutes of my day waiting in a line that stretched from the cash register all the way back to the entrance. Not being a “regular,” I wondered what the appeal was, and why Starbucks has turned into a massively successful worldwide brand. Sparked with curiosity, I couldn’t help but listen to orders placed as I creeped up the line. I watched as each woman stepped forward with her phone in hand to scan and pay. Then, I heard these lengthy, detailed, and mastered orders all beginning with the word, “SKINNY.”  Not being a regular Starbucks consumer, IRead More →

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Dear Lady Gaga, Not only am I writing you to apologize, but I am thanking you from the bottom of my heart.  I was one of them. I was one of 113.7 million viewers tuning in to Fox’s fifth-most-watched TV event in history. I was one who watched your captivating and spectacular performance. I was one of them who studied your body as you were showcasing a talent and mastery of a singer, songwriter, actress and record producer. I was one who not only thought it, but wrote it. I actually texted a friend back and forth about how surprising it was that you weren’tRead More →

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In this day and age, it has become so easy for me to go on my phone, click on my google app, and type, “How to…..?” Then after hitting search, there are an exuberant amount of articles that appear right at my fingertips. I can basically learn how to do anything I want by simply following instructions listed. Not only can I be taught another skill, but if I put my mind and time into it, I can perfect it. My top seven google searches I find myself exploring the most include: 1.) How to fix something. Lately, with little kids, it involves something withRead More →