The 21-day Unfix

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I was once anorexic. My eating disorder was prompted by various situations I encountered as a collegiate student-athlete. First, my peers around me gained weight from college life, and then became determined to lose the excess fat. After observing my teammates exercise excessively, I, with a competitive nature, followed their lead. When my friend began eliminating meals from her daily diet, I joined in. Following practice, I noticed a teammate studying her body in the mirror; so I looked at mine.  At that time, the popular diet fad was to only consume fat free foods. I had never been exposed to diets, weight loss pills, or even scales.Read More →

Fit Mommy

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I was always in great shape as a college athlete. I passed all my fitness tests, finished speed exercises in the top echelon, and excelled in the weight room. However, I have never been as fit as I am right now. Yes. You read it. I am 31 years old, with two children, an almost 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old boy, and I am the fittest today than I have ever been in my entire life. I just completed a half marathon, which is 13.1 miles, in 1 hour, 30 minutes, and 4 seconds. That means my average mile time was 6 minutes and 52Read More →

Goodbye Nuts

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I am one conflicted mommy. Twelve years ago, when I began my path down the road of dieting and exercise, eventually leading to my eating disorder, my relationship with food had become unhealthy. I began categorizing food into two groups; foods that I would allow myself to eat and foods that I would never allow myself to eat. I wish I could tell you I went to school and was educated to be a dietician. Or, that I was qualified to begin eliminating food groups out of my diet for a healthy purpose. Or, that I really understood why I was even deeming certain foods as “bad.” Nevertheless,Read More →

My Confession for Today..

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Last Wednesday started with our typical, chaotic morning routine. As quickly as possible, I packed breakfast to-go in multiple plastic baggies, zipped up both kids backpacks, poured juice in each of their favorite sippy cups (high maintenance may just be genetic after all), and then rushed to get them in their jackets and shoes before buckling them in their car seats. Despite having read multiple mommy blogs and articles about not “hurrying,” and just enjoying the time we have with our little ones, it seems I haven’t learned. “Hurry up, we are going to be late,” still comes out of my mouth every single morning.Read More →

A Lunch in the Life of an Anorexic

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The waitress slowly approached our table to take our lunch orders. Thankfully, she started at the opposite side of the table. This gave me more time to study the menu, see that out of all the items listed, I would only eat two things, and then begin to daydream about the person I once was; one who ate french fries, chicken finger pitas, and even soup. The mere thought of consuming fried foods caused me to envision a girl who would go from skinny to fat in about three seconds, while the sodium content in soup created a picture of a pregnant teenager, appearing unhealthily bloated from waterRead More →

The Weight Room: Strength to Weakness

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It’s the feeling of returning to the intersection you had recently survived a major car accident. Or, having to play on the field where you once collapsed in pain, and was told you tore your ACL. Or, going back to the shopping store you happened to be at when an earthquake struck. Or, even, walking down the same path for the first time since you had been mugged. No matter the event, it is unanimous that people have flashbacks when exposed to stimuli that represent a previous experience, particularly a traumatic one. We forever associate the specific details of the incident with bad feelings; the vividRead More →

Fasting to Diet

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I awoke this morning to head out for an early morning jog. In anticipation of household chaos upon my return, I chose to get a head start to the day. As I walked out of the garage, it felt like the weather had changed overnight. I swear that just yesterday I was awoken by the sun peeking through our bedroom windows. That we went for a long walk after dinner, and it was still light out long after we returned home. But, today was different. I stepped outside at 6:45 a.m., felt a sudden gust of crisp, fall air that had quickly made its grand entrance, and smelled the morning dew thatRead More →

The Magic of Makeup

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My brother’s bar mitzvah. My bat mitzvah. My other brother’s bar mitzvah. Homecoming. My brother’s wedding. My best friend’s wedding. My engagement pictures. My wedding. Those special, momentous occasions have been the only times in my life I have ever had my makeup done by a professional. Thank goodness there have been far more than eight celebrations, triumphs, ceremonies, or parties that I have attended throughout the years; also, very significant, and memorable ones. In high school, when all my friends started experimenting with makeup, buying products, and applying them, I just did not have any interest. I sometimes wondered what the fascination was, and why someoneRead More →

Gained weight? You look great! ... Nobody ever says.

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Ready. Set. Go. My entire life has seemed like a race. A race to finish my homework and go outside to play. A race to get from one class to the next before the bell rang. A race to get to soccer practice despite the rush hour traffic. A race to see how quickly I could run an errand. A race on the soccer field to track down a ball. You get the point, and to this day, I feel like I am still racing, but now, with kids in tow. It, obviously, is my competitive nature, but it never stops, even outside of theRead More →

Skeleton Spotted in Audubon Park, New Orleans

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My family traveled to New Orleans this past weekend. If you have never been, the summers are HOT and uncomfortably humid. Let’s put it in an exercise kind of way: in Baltimore I go for long distance runs with a cell phone in hand. I hold it for the use of Pandora or in case of emergency. When I left the house at 7:30 a.m.  on Friday morning to head out for a run, it was so hot, steamy, and muggy outside that I knew my phone would be ruined if I ran with it. My husband spontaneously decided to join me for a morning runRead More →